The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
