I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
