You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
