What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
