last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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