We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
