Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
