do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
