What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
