Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
