matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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