I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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