He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
