I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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