I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
