literally had 100 drinks last night.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
