Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Floor bacon is actually really good
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
