Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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