yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
