We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am one with the molecules
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
