I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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