My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
