that's an acceptable place to lick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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