I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
