Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
