went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
