How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
