Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
