So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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