Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All the doctor said was why
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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