Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
