put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
