I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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