in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
