oh god the rape fog is back!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
