this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
