ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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