update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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