Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
