i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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