Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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