i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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