i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
