So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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