it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
