Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
