Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
