My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
