you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
