Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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